Confidence: The Rules



100 Lessons in Confidence

  1. Sit up straight
  2. Speak loud and clear
  3. If you are a woman wear heels (no shorter than five inches)
  4. If you are a man wear a tux (a suit will do depending on occassion)
  5. Eye contact must always be given
  6. Do not use umms and arrs, you look less confident


I don’t think I want to know what number seven is; or the 93 which follow on. Sure these improve confidence, after all if you act the part, eventually you will trick your mind into believing you are the part. Fake it till you make it! Right?

I guess, but that is all just to make an appearance for the world.

c Tiger

Think of the time you met that person looking spotless with the straightest back, the shiniest shoes, that beaming fake intense smile that performs sensational life changing speeches, as if they attended dictionary classes directed by the Queen herself. Yes that person we see once and their confidence immediately draws us. So much so we want to be them.

What is the point of wanting to be someone else?

Little Case Study/Short Story

At university I went to a mentor/mentee networking event. There was a mentor who was wearing tracksuits, matching top and bottoms. The students immediately thought to themselves ‘I wouldn’t want him as a mentor’, not knowing he was in a senior position in his company. We all know there is a time and a place, but how great would it be if you could be accepted as who you are. This guy clearly knew who he was and he did not need a fancy suit to tell him. The fancy suit would be worn to let others know of he’s status. Here’s a quote:

“I do not care so much what I am to others as I care what I am to myself.”
― Michel de Montaigne


The number one rule to being confidence is to know exactly who you are and where you are going (and pushing towards that pathway). What is more confident than a person who has meaning and direction? Two quotes which speak for themselves:


“Let others determine your worth and you’re already lost, because no one wants people worth more than themselves.”
― Peter V. Brett, The Warded Man


“Well I am just going to try!” she thought confidently!”
― Carollynn Lemky, The Musical Mermaid


Confidence is just being you!

P.S. Bet you knew that already!

P.P.S. Bet you need a reminder sometimes too =)

About Piarve (84 Articles)
The business brains of Fashion Plugin, with a background in events and marketing and a love for forward thinking fashion, street art and red velvet cake.

4 Comments on Confidence: The Rules

  1. Yep… I have become confident with age! I was SO shy, but having children helped me, I had to do things for them, and stand up for them, and it helped me stand up for myself. Now I go into schools and teach children as a poet, and I have no problems with confidence at all!

    Good luck with the challenge!

    ~ Liz, fellow A-Zer, fascinating animal facts and poems.

    PS, I found your blog very difficult to navigate – it’s very slow to respond… don’t know why! Could it be the theme?

    • Glad you get get over your shyness, it took me a while to get some confidence, and even now I just need a constant self reminder to give ,e that nudge. Children definitely show you a side of you that you didn’t realise existed.

      Hmm, AND thanks for that. I will have to look into it. Currently considering changing the theme but feedback is appreciated.

  2. Your last two little lines. Spot on! And hrm. Not sure why wearing 5 inch or higher heels would make me feel confident. I’m pretty sure it would do the exact opposite. lol
    Happy A to Z-ing!
    herding cats & burning soup.

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