This weeks word is GIRL. Here is my short story:
“The only time I felt fierce was when I was a girl” Darcy let out a sigh as she starred at the tilled ceiling, reclining into the burgundy lounge chair which held her as she drifted into thought.
She used to beat the boys: in running, with grades; she tried to map out the point she became the puppet. Which chapter introduced the side of her which believed everything she was told by even the most obvious liars? When did she become so easily manipulated? How can the transition into womanhood completely remove layers of self-respect?
In the mirror she used to see the biggest smile, behind her the woman she’s always wanted to be would point out her perfectly curly hair, the cute golf ball shapes her cheeks became when they rose, even if they revealed her eight year old childless smile; even whilst her teeth where falling her mother knew how to make her feel so damn pretty.
Now even with a set of teeth that are perfectly in lined without the help of brace, she can’t see past the ugly mask she cannot remember putting on. Surely beauty like what she had could not just disappear. No weave or colour or extension could untie the knot of disappointment in her stomach as she looks at herself. That woman labelled skinny in the mirror, big tired eyes, full lifeless lips, did not match up to the girl she remembered.
How did ambition turn into depression? Desolation overtake resilience and spirit? Was it the sudden death of her mother? The departure of her father? That relationship she entered where she endured beatings for six months; or maybe that point in life her dream job had to let her go; perhaps the months later when the sight of food became sickening.
Once upon a time she was going to be the fiercest woman in the world….
Darcy turned around to her therapist, feeling like the vulnerable little girl she had never been.
“Do you see anything woman about me”
One day I was walking and there comes a point where you realise you are in the adult world and it is absolutely nothing as the childish you had envisioned it will be. That is where this came from.
It would be interesting to hear random scenarios which make you think ‘Child me did not expect this to be part of the adult package’.
Thanks for reading!